I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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