This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
