Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
