And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
