I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
