spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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