i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
