I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
