We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
