Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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