So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
