I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh god it's open bar.
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