i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
