why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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