I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
