i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
