My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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