Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
