i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
