Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
