The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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