my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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