I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
