would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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