I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
