you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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