Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
