How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
