she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
