Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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