I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
