Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize