dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
