this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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