she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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