Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
