A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
