So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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