Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
