we're blogging at a bar
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
