i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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