Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
sarcasm needs its own font
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
