I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
