Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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