see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
