I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
