did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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