Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
