After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
