apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
