Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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