Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just googled if crying burns calories
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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