She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
