i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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