Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
