eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
