and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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