singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
