GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
