If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
