i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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