i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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