There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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