it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
