yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
