I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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