Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
